I’m tired of listening to what’s wrong with us today. The Millennials, the Xennials, the Zoomers, whatever. Let’s talk about what’s wrong with the Boomers and the Good Old Days.
A million years ago and a million miles away… This is the phrase my all time favorite pastor uses when he wants to tell a story about something that happened yesterday and right here but he needs plausible deniability. I love it.
A million years ago and a million miles away, we were having a get together in our neighborhood. Several couples gathered at one home for lunch on a Sunday afternoon.
I should point out that I’m the youngest person in this group by almost 30 years.
I don’t know what the men were outside doing but the women were inside cooking. I was whisking the lumps out of the gravy. One of the men walked in and called us all to attention.
“Ladies! Ladies, ladies.”
We stopped what we were doing and looked up. This man then says…
“We need a volunteer to fill the glasses with ice.”
Now let me pause here so I can paint you a fuller picture. This man is in the kitchen looking at the glasses and standing next to the cooler of ice. He was literally the closest person to the glasses and the ice and was the only one not currently engaged in a task.
Honestly this shit is still grinding my gears. If he was otherwise a kind and pleasant person I might have just brushed by and laughed it off. He’s not though. He’s abrasive and self righteous and he loves pointing out the mistakes of others. He won’t even speak to me, I assume because I have tattoos. People like that not liking me just makes me smile and reaffirms all my life choices.
I think what’s annoying me even more is that the girls just went to do it while he went to kick back in the easy chair.
What I said was, “I’m sorry, is your volunteer broke?” but I don’t think he heard me.
It’s not that I wouldn’t have filled the glasses. I would have been happy to. It’s the entitlement and expectation that I take umbrage with. It’s that ‘men are in charge and women are the worker bees’ attitude that induces my rage. It’s his general worldview that makes me want to be the rock and the hard place he gets crushed between.
In the scheme of things this was a minor incident that I will get over shortly. But it is the latest in a long list of life experiences that every single one of us have.
Young people, girls specifically, I say this to you. Do no harm but take no shit. Stand up for yourselves. Don’t shrink away or let them walk on you. Plant your feet, tighten your core and be the first bit of resistance they’ve ever encountered. Make it clear that ingrained, systemic misogyny is over. Raise your voice. Make a scene. You might not change their minds but you can stun them into silence. They’re dead and don’t even know it yet.
2 thoughts on “The Good Old Days Weren’t Great”
I’d like to think this kind of behavior is on the way out with all the men who are 30 years older than you, but I bet it’s not.
Remind me to tell you another story next time I see you! 💖